| PANELLING IS A THEME BY THE nth DOCTOR |
i’m not a good person, believe mei just dont knw why, but i really do want to be a good person. i reeally wanted to be as good as raudhah and umairah.. these people that ive been “worshiping” for. but, then. even i tried my very hard, i cant. i cant be anything like them. there is some pros and cons in evry human, just that in me, i could see more cons instead of pros. feel the need to upgrade all the cons, but then i could be nothing like them. their beauty, politeness, kindness. just evrything that i wanted. but i cant have them. i ever, always loose my faith in anything just because i felt like giving up. its because evry deeds i do, would hve a bad turn on me. sadly thats when i started to see some wildness in evry wild people. they just get what they want. from there, i could classify myself as an average person. i dont want to be an average. i want to be someone, to be something. i see good people, they could get the very best from there. wanted to be like them, but, its clearly not enough. i dont have the “kindness” u see. so ive detoured myself to the bad side since im nt good enough at being nice. and yet, trouble comes. idk. livving as an average people just….. sick i just wanted to be the best for once , |
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